Tuesday, February 25, 2003

February 27, 2003
As this is my first Blog, I’m experiencing a sudden performance anxiety equivocal, for me at least, only to giving oral presentations during middle school. As we all know, life has improved since seventh grade, yet the pressures of peer judgment still overwhelm me on a daily basis. I’m never sure exactly what to say, how to say it or even if anyone actually cares. In fact, that is probably one of my greatest questions in life, do any of us care about what anyone, including the ones we love the most, are saying?
This may be a far to rhetorical way to commence my first Blog, and so I have decided to backtrack and recount the more tedious details of my day. In a response to Jeff’s format, I have decided to structure my Blog as a laundry list, exploring the things I absolutely hate (and there are many of them) and the things I love. As each day melts in to the next, I find myself creating strong emotional sentiments and attachments to seemingly boring objects and situations, and I feel that these emotions are important in understanding what kind of person I will become.

Things I hate:
*Professors who assign over 500 multiple choice problems two days before an exam and having multiple exams/papers due on the same day. I have never understood why different academic departments are not assigned specific dates for midterms/papers in order to avoid the dreaded “overlap” that every college student experiences multiple times during the year.
*Eating after 10pm. This is probably due to my obsession with Cosmopolitan Magazine and my fear of calorie content, but any consumption late at night makes me feel absolutely disgusting.
*Not having a set plan. The more I do with my life, the more I realize that I crave a specific list of events that tells me exactly what I have to do and when I have to do it. The fact that I am living in Atlanta this summer (away from home for the first time over a summer) and have no job, apartment or even idea of what I am going to do, scares the living hell out of me.
*Corporate silliness. This is in reference to Spencer who recently lost his job due to mismanagement of a bad situation by a large corporation. While in some ways this makes me want to stand up and fight to get rid of all the scum in the world, it also makes me want to lie down and take a little nap while I pay someone to invest my money in the stock market.

Things I love:
*Bert the Betta. My newest pest and love of my life (sorry Spence), Bert is quite possibly the best form of entertainment since that one night I got high and stared at a chicken nugget until I laughed so hard I wet myself. Although that incident never actually happened, I could picture it.
*The smell of the night air. I am the type of person who often relies solely on her senses of smell and hearing, while vision is important to me, I often find myself connecting certain smells and sounds, such as the lawnmower and fresh cut grass to happy memories of playing in the early evening as a child. Sometimes I feel that this is such a blessing, like I am being given the ability to pay attention to the little details in order to enhance my understanding of life.
*Ground turkey and the lean, mean, grilling machine. Damn, I love those turkey burgers cooked on the George Foreman Grill.
*Learning. As much as I bitch and moan about my loads of work, I cannot imagine my life without extensive schooling and the opportunity to continue to explore. I never want to stop questioning. In fact, I feel that if my desire to learn ever yields, that I will lose part of myself, as if giving up is my enemy.
*Spencer. He always makes me laugh, even when he calls me Catie (my new nickname). I’m not sure if I could imagine my life without him at the moment, and frankly, I would not want to.

Well, this is all for tonight, I must depart and go to bed. I have given up on my ambitious goal of pulling an all-nighter and instead plan on skipping my dance class tomorrow morning. C’est la vie mes petites.

Bon soir…